Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Matt Gallo BlogTimeHappyFunStravaganza!
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Here's an example of my blog, but my real Gallo's Humor blog lives at: http://mattgallo.wordpress.com/. Click here to go there, and follow, comment, subscribe, or whatever! --Matt (10/12/2010)
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Hello Internet, it's me, Matt Gallo.
Who is Matt Gallo?
Why you self righteous, douche-y little upstart! It's not like I know who you are either! Give a guy a break, jeez, can't I just--
(Let me try this again.)
Who is Matt Gallo?
Me. ...I'm glad we've got that covered.
Now then, without further ado-
Blog, the First: Matt Gallo BlogTimeHappyFunStravaganza! or
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love teh Internetz (or What You Will)
So I am Matt Gallo. Known on the internet as Matt Gallo. Also known as TheMattGallo, Lord MacGuffin, Matty Horror, and in South Internet as the fabled "Mallo".
So this first Blog entry has immediately got me to wondering, can it avoid the same fate as my Live Journal and MySpace accounts? Which is to say, will it not fade out with time and lack of use, in part due to newer flashier sites offering more interesting options of the same things? This will remain to be seen.
Nay the less, I intend to press on for now, and see what I can make of this. My hope is to use is for whatever silly, random comical musings come to me now and then, that I feel deserve more detail than a status on facebook, or tweet on twitter.
Now, you may be wondering, why Matt, why would you have so many different accounts, and now this blog, if you are so generally pessimistic about such internet dealings?
And you would be right to wonder this.
Anyway, this brings us to meat of my entry (or I guess the tofu* of it, as I've been a vegetarian for the last 14 years) which is, How exactly Did I learn to stop worrying and love teh Internetz?
Let's consider this in 3 parts:
1. The Internet as a realistic advancement
2. The Internet as a fantastical land of confusion and dreams
3. TEH INTRNTZ, BICH
As for the Number 1- that probably needs no real amount of detailing; it is obvious and known to almost all that the internet has become an extremely useful, nearly entirely necessary tool in many aspects of our modern world. So the standard matter of passing time and acclimation helped me worry less about this, though didn't erase it alltogether.
Number 2- on the other hand, is what made it seem more enticing while I was still in the more trepidatious stages of Number 1. While I might have feared things like How Could I Ever Keep Up With All This?, or Is This All A Ploy To Steal All My Money From Me? But then I would be distracted by things like Opportunity To Say Anything I Want To Strangers With Little To No Recourse!, or Shiny Games and Social Connections Theorectically FREE!, or Hey Every Other Thing I Search Results In Some Form of Porn!, and generally any number of exciting ways to spend my time and try to steal all my money from me. But they were exciting enough to distract me from my fears. I've been so emboldened by these aspects of Number 2 that I had barely a second thought about using the word "trepidatious" a few lines back, and whether it's even a real word. [Is it?]
Now, to be fair, I discovered upon considering Number 2's Opportunity To Say Anything I Want To Strangers With Little To No Recourse!, that if I cross referenced it with my fears in Number 1, I would innvitable be confronted with a new problem: Everyone Else Can Do This Too...
This was probably the biggest source of my conflict and consternation with the internet. Luckily, I was able to navigate my way through this barrier, as well as comes to terms with most any other issues with the internet at all, due to my saving grace, Number 3:
TEH INTRNTZ, BICH.
Number 3- was the hilarious, freeing and unabashadly enjoyable realization that Nothing Can Matter Too Much In A World Where The Phrase 'WTFAWK IZ ^ OMGAWD IzNT TEH INTRNTZ PWNING SH*T 2DAY? ROFLOLMAO' Is Considered Perfectly Normal And Clear. Once I understood this, nothing else mattered at all. Not only that, but there was a whole new world full of ripe possibilities for light hearted mockery. And consider this-
Someone doesn't agree with my opinion? TEH INTRNTZ, BICH.
Someone is confused or misses the joke or the point? TEH INTRNTZ, BICH.
Someone wants to correct my grammer and punctuation? TEH INTRNTZ, BICH!
Clearly my Numer 3 cannot be defeated. And more importantly, if someone does figure out how to defeat my number 3 (ie: NUMBR3=FAIL), I won't feel bad about it anyway!
And this, is how I learned to stop worrying and love teh interetz (or what you will).
Okay, I guess that it's for now Internet, but don't be surprised if I switch it up next time, and start a review format, or something else alltogether. After all, it's TEH INTRNTZ, BICH.
Goodbye Internet,
-Matt Gallo
--------------------------------------------------
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*Then again, there's also seitan, which is more interesting and cooler sounding than tofu, so let's just say I was getting to the seitan of the entry.
Here's an example of my blog, but my real Gallo's Humor blog lives at: http://mattgallo.wordpress.com/. Click here to go there, and follow, comment, subscribe, or whatever! --Matt (10/12/2010)
__________________________________________________
Hello Internet, it's me, Matt Gallo.
Who is Matt Gallo?
(Let me try this again.)
Who is Matt Gallo?
Me. ...I'm glad we've got that covered.
Now then, without further ado-
Blog, the First: Matt Gallo BlogTimeHappyFunStravaganza! or
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love teh Internetz (or What You Will)
So I am Matt Gallo. Known on the internet as Matt Gallo. Also known as TheMattGallo, Lord MacGuffin, Matty Horror, and in South Internet as the fabled "Mallo".
So this first Blog entry has immediately got me to wondering, can it avoid the same fate as my Live Journal and MySpace accounts? Which is to say, will it not fade out with time and lack of use, in part due to newer flashier sites offering more interesting options of the same things? This will remain to be seen.
Nay the less, I intend to press on for now, and see what I can make of this. My hope is to use is for whatever silly, random comical musings come to me now and then, that I feel deserve more detail than a status on facebook, or tweet on twitter.
Now, you may be wondering, why Matt, why would you have so many different accounts, and now this blog, if you are so generally pessimistic about such internet dealings?
And you would be right to wonder this.
Anyway, this brings us to meat of my entry (or I guess the tofu* of it, as I've been a vegetarian for the last 14 years) which is, How exactly Did I learn to stop worrying and love teh Internetz?
Let's consider this in 3 parts:
1. The Internet as a realistic advancement
2. The Internet as a fantastical land of confusion and dreams
3. TEH INTRNTZ, BICH
As for the Number 1- that probably needs no real amount of detailing; it is obvious and known to almost all that the internet has become an extremely useful, nearly entirely necessary tool in many aspects of our modern world. So the standard matter of passing time and acclimation helped me worry less about this, though didn't erase it alltogether.
Number 2- on the other hand, is what made it seem more enticing while I was still in the more trepidatious stages of Number 1. While I might have feared things like How Could I Ever Keep Up With All This?, or Is This All A Ploy To Steal All My Money From Me? But then I would be distracted by things like Opportunity To Say Anything I Want To Strangers With Little To No Recourse!, or Shiny Games and Social Connections Theorectically FREE!, or Hey Every Other Thing I Search Results In Some Form of Porn!, and generally any number of exciting ways to spend my time and try to steal all my money from me. But they were exciting enough to distract me from my fears. I've been so emboldened by these aspects of Number 2 that I had barely a second thought about using the word "trepidatious" a few lines back, and whether it's even a real word. [Is it?]
Now, to be fair, I discovered upon considering Number 2's Opportunity To Say Anything I Want To Strangers With Little To No Recourse!, that if I cross referenced it with my fears in Number 1, I would innvitable be confronted with a new problem: Everyone Else Can Do This Too...
This was probably the biggest source of my conflict and consternation with the internet. Luckily, I was able to navigate my way through this barrier, as well as comes to terms with most any other issues with the internet at all, due to my saving grace, Number 3:
TEH INTRNTZ, BICH.
Number 3- was the hilarious, freeing and unabashadly enjoyable realization that Nothing Can Matter Too Much In A World Where The Phrase 'WTFAWK IZ ^ OMGAWD IzNT TEH INTRNTZ PWNING SH*T 2DAY? ROFLOLMAO' Is Considered Perfectly Normal And Clear. Once I understood this, nothing else mattered at all. Not only that, but there was a whole new world full of ripe possibilities for light hearted mockery. And consider this-
Someone doesn't agree with my opinion? TEH INTRNTZ, BICH.
Someone is confused or misses the joke or the point? TEH INTRNTZ, BICH.
Someone wants to correct my grammer and punctuation? TEH INTRNTZ, BICH!
Clearly my Numer 3 cannot be defeated. And more importantly, if someone does figure out how to defeat my number 3 (ie: NUMBR3=FAIL), I won't feel bad about it anyway!
And this, is how I learned to stop worrying and love teh interetz (or what you will).
Okay, I guess that it's for now Internet, but don't be surprised if I switch it up next time, and start a review format, or something else alltogether. After all, it's TEH INTRNTZ, BICH.
Goodbye Internet,
-Matt Gallo
--------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
*Then again, there's also seitan, which is more interesting and cooler sounding than tofu, so let's just say I was getting to the seitan of the entry.
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